I would like to tell you the story of how the “I LOVE ME” design was created because I treasure the special moments when my inner voice speaks to me. I am sure we all are enduring similar experiences at the moment: there are good days, and there are those “bad days.” My good days are those when I feel “on a roll,” when everything “clicks,” the connection with my inner being is clear and open, I feel confident, I feel love and I feel loved. On those “bad days,” it is quite the opposite. A few weeks ago, I felt as if I was slowly sinking into this “opposite day.” Many questions were surfacing in my mind and, with those questions, plenty of self-doubts was bubbling up as well. However, as I am on my new path of growth and development, instead of allowing this feeling to completely overwhelm me like it used to, I decided to listen to my inner voice.
Sitting at my desk, I opened YouTube and clicked on my already-lined-up inspirational lessons. I don’t look for any specific title—I know that the video I click on will contain the message I need to hear. Therefore, I simply clicked and listened. The lesson was precisely the answer to my question: “Why do people sometimes choose to act in ways that they know will hurt those people closest to them?” The message I received was so powerful and liberating, it helped me to understand other peoples’ “hurtful” actions. We have the tendency when we get hurt by someone, to believe it is that person’s intention to hurt us. “Why would he do this to me? How could he do it?” However, seldom is the true intention of the other person to hurt us; rather, it is to make himself happy, because he is a self-loving person. Our hurt feelings are just collateral damage that occurs when we don’t give enough love to ourselves, and therefore, our shield of self-preservation and self-protection is very weak. When we focus our love only on others, the flow of love energy is directed outside of us; there is no love left for us inside, which makes us so much more vulnerable to be hurt. There is no LOVE wall to protect us. When we forget ourselves, when we put ourselves secondary, we open ourselves up to become easily hurt. If we love ourselves enough, we build resiliency toward any outside actions—good or bad. While receiving this lesson, I was sketching my understanding of the message so I could visually review it again. For the purpose of this blog, I decided to redo the drawing on the computer to make it clearer.
After finishing the first quick sketch, without realizing it, I started a new drawing on the notepad, allowing my hand to be guided by my inner self. Once the lesson was done, my drawing was done too. I couldn’t believe it once I realized what I was looking at. My inner voice couldn’t be any louder or clearer: “You got hurt because you forgot about yourself. There was no love for yourself at all. This is your reminder: ‘I LOVE ME!’” The picture on the left is my guided drawing.
You need to understand: coming from a communist country where the topic of love (especially self-love) was seldom spoken of and considered to be completely ridiculous, I would never have drawn or written anything on my own that spoke of “loving me” or “loving myself.” Also, I didn’t know until my friend Monica told me a few weeks later that sunflowers symbolize worship and faithfulness because of their resemblance to the sun, which is associated with spiritual knowledge and the desire to seek light and truth. How fascinating! I hadn’t known this fact about sunflowers at all. Now I know that the sunflower is not there just for the purpose of the design. And that is the story of how the “I LOVE ME” design was created for MY RETURN.
I know this drawing and message didn’t come from me; they came through me, from the inner voice who is lovingly guiding me along MY RETURN journey.
“Self-respect, self-worth, and self-love all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for your value.”