Real vs. Fake

I knew that starting a business from scratch would be challenging. I’m finally starting to get my feet wet and feel comfortable in my CEO position. I learned very quickly that, without marketing via social media, my business would be lost. Therefore, the most challenging part of the business is navigating through social media. It’s not the time demands, it’s not understanding the concept (it took some time to learn but I seem to be getting the hang of it), and it’s not coming up with the content for the posts. The most challenging (and saddest) part is the eye-opening realization of how much we are surrounded by false and phony “stuff,” and how much we admire it.

All the people who know my entire story told me I needed to share it. They said that I should post videos telling my stories. Since I had an intense fear of public speaking, I had thus far been avoiding it. But shortly, I came to the conclusion that videos and speaking would really help to spread the message of MY Return. Therefore, I researched and took some online classes for public speaking, which were very helpful and actually fun. After that, I learned that a body language class is very important as well. So, I signed up for a class with a highly acclaimed expert on body language. The teacher explained how to be very careful about our facial expressions, because even the tiniest movement of the eyebrow, the smallest movement of the lip, a little tilt of the head—those slight movements all reveal things about ourselves to others. When following all the little instructions for what to do and what not to do, I looked like a robot or a mannequin. My thoughts were too focused on how not to reveal who I really was, rather than simply being myself and focusing on the person I was talking to. Then, I started to pay more attention to people who were on television or other social media platforms. Because of the body language classes, I could see that most of them had been “trained,” and they were not being real. What is wrong with being real and just being yourself? If I am upset, don’t you want to know I am upset? If I am happy, don’t you want to know I am happy? Why can’t we just be real?

So often, we try very hard to be someone else. We wish to be anyone but ourselves. I understand the pressure from society to fit in and pretend to be someone else. But I have to say, it feels so refreshing to talk with a real and genuine person, one who is not pretending to be someone else. This life is so much easier and so much happier if we are who we were meant to be. We all are unique, and we each have something different and precious to offer the world. Pretending to be someone else is like being unappreciative of our gifts. If you truly knew your value, you would never want to be anyone but yourself.   

We are all doing the best we can to be loving and caring people, especially to our loved ones: children, spouses, parents, partners, coworkers, and friends. However, sometimes, if we are being honest with ourselves, the love doesn’t come easily. We pretend, and we do our best to fake love. How is it possible to share something with others if we ourselves are lacking it? How can we give love if we don’t have a love for ourselves? I know it sounds very selfish, but can you truly love someone if you don’t like yourself?  Can you feel how differently you treat others when you haven’t filled your own bucket, versus when your bucket is overflowing? I can. I feel a big difference in the love received from a self-loving person, versus the “love” from someone who doesn’t have any self-love. Therefore, it is important to be selfish and love yourself first, in order to love others. When you give love to yourself first, you never have to fake love to others. Love will radiate from you without any hard work—and the love will be reciprocated naturally. 

I sincerely treasure honesty as a quality in the people I meet, and I jump with joy each time I meet a real and genuine person. I have to say, I am very lucky because those types of people have been showing up out of nowhere on my path. Therefore, we should cherish all things REAL: relationships, friendships, people, and love. Life would be so awesome if we didn’t have to pretend to be someone else. If we could simply be in awe of the reflection we see in the mirror, then there would be no need to be fake about anything.

If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.

~Larry Dixon

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